


Conversations that the Leaders of K-Pop wished they never had

by BesChicken



Category: B.A.P, EXO (Band), GOT7, JBJ (Band), Monsta X (Band), NCT (Band), NINE PERCENT (Band), Pentagon (Korea Band), Stray Kids (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: (sometimes), (who am I kidding nobody takes this seriously), Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, He aint the bias tho, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I don’t think I’ll be crossing over conversations, I have a slight bias towards Xing, I have no fucking clue what I'm doing, I'll probably add more groups later, It took me literally ten minutes just to add the MX tags, I’ll add more tags as this progresses, Kpop Texts, M/M, Multi, OT6 - Relationship - Freeform, OT7 - Relationship - Freeform, OT9 - Relationship - Freeform, Offensive Humor, Team as Family, Texts & Conversations, This isnt meant to taken seriously, fuck my life, general fluffiness, if you couldn't already tell, iono her, is that a food?, its just a small fic to unblock my writers block when need be, like having exo and Got7 talk to each other, maybe like but not now, sleep? Who is she?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-08
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2019-05-03 22:43:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 56
Words: 8,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14579214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BesChicken/pseuds/BesChicken
Summary: Leaders have so much resting on their young shoulders.They bear the weight of the group, and the bridge between the managers and their members.So excuse them, when they say they don't need, want, or deserve this shit- - -By the way, this does contain headcanons, and lil drabbles that I didn’t think were longenough to post on its own.---As of  4/25/19B.A.P - 3BTS - 11EXO - 17GOT7 - 9JBJ/95 - 1MONSTA X - 5NCT - 3NINE PERCENT/ 9% - 1Pentagon - 1STRAY KIDS - 6 - ~ New~———New schedule as of 1/3/19: I update on Monday and/or Friday! Whenever I update, it’ll always be two chapters. - Bes (Hopefully I stick to this bullshit)





	1. EXO - 1 : The Baekhyun Incident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotional Constipation. 
> 
> That’s all I gotta say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya’ll! A bitch has too much in her docs, and that bitch is me.
> 
> Anyways, thank you for clicking on this! 
> 
> Please, enjoy!

Baekhyun: *running, like actually sprinting to the walking group, all going to the practice room

Baekhyun *panting: hey guys, I'm holding a camera because the manager thought it would be a good idea for me to film the daily lives of Exo

Baekhyun: also to make sure we don't do anything stupid, but I'm going to use it for its non-intended purpose- Imma film something stupid . I have a question

Kyungsoo: kill me now

 

Minseok: motherfucker I dare you, I couldn’t live with them without you- my killing partner

 

Kyungsoo: good to know you only love me for my excellent murdering skills

 

Baekhyun: you know the term "emotional constipated"? 

Chanyeol: well yeah

Jongin: why?

Baekhyun: what's the name for being not emotional constipated?

Minseok: Junmyeon 

 

Jongdae: no, that’s just constipated 

 

Junmyeon: wow. So offended right now 

 

Yixing: emotional diarrhea?

 

Baekhyun * brings the camera to his face, showing an angle from below his jaw: gasP geNIuS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Made it through that piece of shit? 
> 
> Thank you all for reading that garbage, I appreciate it!  
> Remember criticism and comments are welcome! So feel free to leave a kudos or a comment if you liked it!


	2. GOT7 - 2: Eye-motherfucking-quills

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bambam has a crisis while Jinyoung is rapidly planning his dongsaeng next tutor session, and Jaebum is honestly thinking about running away and living in Russia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, ya’ll!
> 
> So this one is a bit strange, I don’t remember how I wrote this, or why.  
> But here it is I guess?

__

 

Bambam: Ah fuck!

 

Mark: are you alright? You sounded like you were in pain.

 

Bambam: yeah, I got an eye-quill in my eye

 

Jaebum: Your  _ what _

 

Bambam: You know? My  _ eye-quill. _

 

Jackson *trying to be helpful: Do you mean your  _ eyelash? _

 

Jinyoung: he fucking better mean his eyelash

 

Bambam: No, my eye-quill bitch!

 

Yugyeom: I honestly think he’s lost his mind

 

Mark: Well aren’t you a little hypocrite of a maknae

 

Jinyoung* forcefully sits Bambam down: We gonna help this poor lil’ bastard, I refuse to have my second kid be an idiot just like my youngest baby

 

Yugyeom: ouch

 

Bambam: I don’t understand the problem, all I said was my eye-quills got in my eye?

 

Jackson: Yuggie may be right, I think we lost the kid. Well, I claim his closet!

 

Youngjae: I’ll take his pets

 

Mark: I’ll take his apartment

 

Bambam: bitches!

 

Jaebum: Really?  _ Eye-motherfucking-quills? _

 

Yugyeom* laughing his ass off:  __ I think it was just eye-quills, Hyung

 

Jackson: That’s it, that is now our new twitter handle

 

Youngjae: I agree, it is truly genius

 

 

Bambam: I’m feeling attacked right now

 

Jinyoung: You’re about to be attacked for real, if you don’t understand that ‘eye-quills’ isn’t a real term

 

Bambam: Are you calling me a liar?

 

Jackson* scrambling to say it: huehuhhuehuehueEEHUE I ain’t calling you a truther!

 

Yugyeom: eyyyyyyyy

 

Mark; eyyyy

 

Youngjae* takes a deep breath: eeeeeyyyyyyyy!

 

Jackson* grins, takes a gulp of air: EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYy

 

Jinyoung* pinching the bridge of his nose: I hate these kids

 

Jaebum* staring at the floor in front of him: mhm

 

Bambam: I still don’t get it, is eye-quills wrong? Have I been lied to my entire life? Is my life a lie, who am I? Am I really Bambam?

 

\ \/ /

/ /\ \

 

 

Yugyeom* afterwards, slides Bambam a twenty: good job Hyung, I told you we’d get em’ good

 

Bambam: was I lying?

 

Yugyeom* runs and causes the chair he was sitting on to tumble to the ground

 

Jackson* from under the table, pats Bambam’s leg proudly: You did it my child

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Made through that shit? 
> 
> Thank you for making through that garbage, and yes- I’m multi fandom as fuck, too much so.
> 
> Has anyone heard about Donghan debuting as a solo artist as June?? A bitch is excited as fuck! Could I be more happy for that boy?   
> I'ma stan that bitch so hard
> 
> Comment and kudos if you wish!


	3. BTS- 3: Yoongi puts his foot down, and says no.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jin needs some love, and Yoongi agrees, but he just won't stand for his Hyung's jokes.
> 
> (Also, How did I just realize that I lowkey ship Yoongi, Taehyung and Kookie together?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thank God that I didn't need to google puns.  
> When I finally get to that point is when I'll need someone to slap me.

 

Jin* barely opens his mouth: Boys, I have the best joke to tell you kids!

 

Yoongi: Stop

 

Jin: But Yoongi-

 

Yoongi: No

 

Jin: Yah! can you just listen to my jo-?

 

Yoongi; No, no I can’t

 

Jungkook: Well Jin-Hyung, Yoongi-Hyung has a point

 

Jimin: Oh yeah, and what is that?

 

Namjoon: Yoongi-Hyung has finally told Hyung that around him, we simply- cannot

 

Jin: Because I’m too funny? *erupts into squeaky laughter

 

Taehyung* blank face: Hilarious.

 

Namjoon* sighs into the oblivion: Calm, be calm Namjoon, calm your-goddamn-self

 

Jimin* cracks a smile: Heeeeee

 

Hoseok* has his sunshine smile: dammit Jiminie

 

Jungkook: I’m proud of you, Hyung! How long was it Taehyungie-Hyung?

 

Taehyung: Yeah, he made it about, mmm.. ten seconds without laughing at Hyung’s “jokes”

 

Yoongi: Good job kiddo.

 

Hoseok: We- are- just so proud of you

 

Namjoon: Alright, alright, that’s enough guys

 

Jimin: But Namjoon-Hyung, it’s actually really fun to mess with Hyung

 

Taehyung; _Very_

 

Jungkook: He blushes very prettily, and his mad face is adorable

 

Jimin: It’s strangely cute

 

Hoseok: I swear, our maknae line is pure trouble

 

Jin: _Strangely cute, Prettily, adorable?_ I’m a God

 

Yoongi: Well

 

Jungkook: I wouldn’t go that far

 

Yoongi: He’s handsome

 

Taehyung: But Godly? Nah

 

Hoseok: Ooh, the TaegiKook trio has struck

 

Jimin; I honestly disagree with everything they just said

 

Jin: thAnK yOU Jimin-Ah, Namjoonie why aren’t you defending your Godly Hyung??

 

Namjoon: I didn’t bother because I knew it was a joke

 

Taehyung: pFT-

 

Jin *scoffing: When did my dongsaengs stop respecting me?

 

Taehyung: We still respect you as our Hyung, and an artist

 

Jungkook: But at times, your jokes can get a little bit- uh hyung?

 

Hoseok: not annoying, not bothersome- ah fuck, Namjoonie?

  
Namjoon: As a group of barely adult boys, we do need some quiet. But it doesn’t mean we don’t like your jokes, just we’d love to talk to you, have a conversation- or a comforting pat

 

Jin: well damn, that was cute!

 

Jin: oOh, wait

 

Jin: Yoongi? Do you feel the same?

 

Yoongi * pauses: Yeah, what they said.

 

Jin* lowkey spazzing out: The goddamn grumpy baby loves me…!

 

Yoongi has a small smile, one that they couldn’t notice if they didn’t know Yoongi so well: yeah- you keep believing that Hyung.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, quick lil' question: How do ya'll feel about me releasing a yandere work? I'm asking for a friend I swear..
> 
> ahEm, anyway!
> 
> Made it through that shit? Thank you for reading my garbage word vomit!
> 
> So, I actually plan to have Jin centric drabble, maybe that'll happen for all you Jin stans!  
> I'm a proud Yoongi stan!
> 
> I feel like I should be able to write for BTS better than I do for EXO, because BTS is my bias group; I just don't really know how because even with EXO it's how I think of them, and portray them.  
> Maybe I should just spend a day watching BTS shit, and not get sidetracked with an SF9 stage like I've done before. oops
> 
>  
> 
> Feel free to leave a comment and a kudos!


	4. MONSTA X- 4: Kihyun’s missing food

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (ahEM! Dramatic voice)
> 
> Will Kihyun find the culprit behind his missing food? Will his prized Tupperware be recovered? 
> 
> Changkyun is a key witness in this horrible and brutal case..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was the drAMATIC enough?
> 
>  
> 
> Hey ya’ll, sO- after what seems like years to me, a bitch is back!
> 
> And because there is never enough MX in our lives, and because I’m a person pleaser- I’ve provided!
> 
> ahem-unlike what I’ve actually done, because Bes where’s the painful, angst, heart-fucking-shattering shit? couGH 
> 
> I laugh, but I feel actual pain- ugh

Kihyun: boys, I’m not mad- not yet at least- who in the fuck ate my food

 

Jooheon* snaps his head up at the mention of food: well, not me

 

Changkyun* raising his hand: Minhyuk-Hyung was eating something earlier

 

Minhyuk: traitor!

 

Kihyun*gritting his teeth painfully: so- did you eat it?

 

Minhyuk: uH no?

 

Hyunwoo: If you did you can say it, Kihyun won’t kill you- I won’t let him

 

Minhyuk: what about hurting me?

 

Hyungwon: He isn’t a God, not even a God could save you

 

Jooheon: he’s right

 

Changkyun: sadly yes

 

Hoseok* bursts out laughing

 

Kihyun; Lee Minhyuk..

 

Minhyuk: yeS fine I did, b-but Hoseok and Hyunwoo ate too!

 

Hyunwoo: um

 

Hoseok: son of a bitch! What happen to ride or die?

 

Minhyuk: you let me die, I’ll take you bastards down with me even if it’s the last thing I do!

 

Hyungwon: It very well might be

Changkyun: I’m not sure I want to witness a murder

 

Jooheon: because then you’d have to tell? And go against Ki-Hyung?

 

Changkyun: no because he’s a messy killer, he’d get my shoes dirty and I’d rather not have to clean them again after the last time

 

Hyungwon: _last time_?

 

Kihyun: Changkyunie go lay down

 

Changkyun* has a light smirk on his lips: sir yes sir

 

Jooheon: you enjoyed that name too much hyung

 

Hoseok: ey I did too

 

Minhyuk: Kihyun no-

 

Static, Changkyun walks into the room holding a sign, and positions it over Kihyun and Minhyuks forms on the floor. “We are sorry, we happen to be experiencing some technical difficulties.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word has it, that Minhyuk, Hoseok and Hyunwoo weren’t the true culprits, and that there was a mastermind behind it all..
> 
>  
> 
> Aite, (you got me feelin’ like a- sorry hehe) so MX, sigh.
> 
> As a loyal Changkyun stan, I feel attacked with this Kihyun disrespect, and just Hoseok in general, yeah fuck him
> 
>  
> 
> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


	5. GOT7 - 5: "I would never bet my ass for anything, regardless of how sure I am." A quote by Park Jinyoung

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a normal day of G7, and the usual day of Jaebum almost leaving, and Jinyoung nearly committing murder- as per usual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is me trying to write G7, I love them, but again I'm not that confident in my characterization of them.  
> Still, arguably- EXO is who I write best, and probably always will be.
> 
> bUT- I can damn well try to write other groups at least- decently!

Jackson: I’m offended

 

Mark: cool

 

Bambam: why, did someone eat your food again?

 

Yugyeom: Ooh, a comma and a question mark

 

Bambam *yelling across the room: fuck you!

 

Mark: I heard my name?

 

Jackson: um heLLO

 

Youngjae: Hey! What’s happening?

 

Jackson: nothing, I just wanted to yell at you

 

Jinyoung: I swear I leave this house for ten seconds it everything goes to shhhhiiittttt

 

Jaebum; you’ve upset him so much that he dragged his words out

 

Mark: look what you’ve done to our loyal, sane and doesn’t at all hate us in anyway- Jinyoung

 

Youngjae: even I have to admit, that’s a stretch

 

Jackson: you know, like what my tight jeans do after I wear them once?

 

Jinyoung: Jackson Wang, I will beat your ass to make you realize how much we love that ass and you

 

Bambam: I love that you put him and his ass separate

 

Jaebum: I loved when I didn’t hear your voices every minute of every day

 

Mark: I relate

 

Jaebum: I also remember when I hated it

 

Yugyeom: awwwww! And now you love it, right?

 

Mark: no, now we despise it

 

Jackson: fuck I felt that

 

Youngjae: damn

 

Jackson: damnnnnnnnnnn

 

Jaebum* thinking: _I’m so gonna regret this._

 

Jaebum: dammNNNMNNNNNNNNN

 

Yugyeom: we’ve turned him over to the dark side

 

Mark: Jinyoung isn’t gonna be happy

 

Bambam; the only time he’s happy is when we aren’t around

 

Youngjae: actually, only when _you_ aren’t around is he truly happy

 

Jinyoung: ah my beloved child, you know me well

 

Youngjae: :D

 

Bambam: I’m an abused baby

 

Jackson: to be fair, I ain’t never seen a baby have such long ass legs

 

Mark: this bitch is lookin’ like a full string bean

 

Bambam: I admit- I have no idea what that is, and even though it’s probably true- I’m offended, and these allegations against me are harmful to my career

 

Mark: and by default- to our careers too

 

Yugyeom: God, we’re tied together for basically the rest of our lives

 

Jinyoung: I regret ever joining JJ-Project with these _peopl_ _e_

 

Youngjae: get ready, because you’re gonna be stuck with “these _people_ ” for the rest of your life! Because even if one or all of us don’t renew

our contracts, we’re all too used to each other by now

 

Jackson: you are never, _ever_ getting rid of us

 

Jaebum: hilarious.

 

Jackson: at your house that you just bought

 

Yugyeom: we’ll be there

 

Mark: at your wedding

 

Bambam: you betta bet your fine ass we’ll be there

 

Jinyoung: I would never bet my ass for anything, regardless of how sure I am

 

Yugyeom: your funeral

 

Youngjae: we’ll be there!

 

Jaebum; he’s more likely to go to your funerals

 

Jinyoung: he is right

 

As if on cue, the five members get up and just leave.

 

Jaebum: did they just

 

Jinyoung: get off their asses and leave? Yes

 

Jaebum: guess you could say they _bounced_ away

 

Jinyoung: bye

 

Jinyoung: I expect child support.

 

Jaebum: you’d be lucky if I gave you a single corn chip for these children

 

Jinyoung: bitch betta have my money

 

Jaebum: I’m done, I’ve been done for the past few years. But now that I have kids- grown men- I feel like twenty years have been scratched off of my life and I really just wanna lie down and never get back up

 

Jinyoung: mm cool

 

Jaebum: wow-

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Jaebum and Jinyoung, the pain these two are in.... 
> 
> Bams should just stop, man. hA as if that'll happen
> 
> So much has happened in the last few weeks. 
> 
> Donghan, DAY6, Nu'est, Momoland, and Kyung! Like Jesus can a bitch get a break?? (don't give me one)
> 
> \-   
> \- 
> 
> Thank you making it through that garbage!  
> Feel free to leave a comment, and a kudos!


	6. EXO- 6: Minseok's envy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minseok is envious of certain things that the former members have that he doesn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a small chapter, literally 100 words exactly- yay..

 

 

 

Minseok: You know, sometimes I get envious of Yifan, Lu, and Tao.

 

Jongdae: Why? Because Luhan has a girlfriend? Or that Kris and Tao can rap about whatever they want?

 

Baekhyun: Maybe because you’re jealous of Yifan’s beautiful bald head

 

Jongin: iono, Kyungsoo wins for me

 

Sehun: me too, man

 

Junmyeon: I agree

 

Kyungsoo: thanks

 

Yixing* from China: yoU lOOK grEAT HONEY

 

Kyungsoo* shouting at the window: Thank you!!!

 

Baekhyun* whispering softly with feeling: Soo-Boo, mah manz is beautiful, bald or not

 

Minseok: No, because they can eat whatever they want, and can curse freely

 

Chanyeol: ah- that makes sense.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to leave a comment, and a kudos!
> 
>  
> 
> [This bitch is me](https://twitter.com/Bes_Chicken)


	7. GOT7- 7: When asked about their first night as a formed group, they respond..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once again, Jaebum proves what he means when he says his members are idiots

 

 

 

Interviewer: So, how was your first night together as a debuted group?

  
  


Jaebum: ah well, it’s been so long and um- Jinyoung?

  


Jinyoung: um, we uh

  


Yugyeom:....cough

  


Youngjae* in English: yeAH MAN

  


Mark* thinking: **_I’m not sure we can tell them..._ **

  


Bambam: I’m really not sure

  


Jackson: weLL- we got home and had a passionate night-

  


Mark* slapping his hand over Jackson’s mouth:  playing a gaME OF MONOPOLY

  


Jackson: It was actually Uno, but fine

  


Jaebum: I hate them

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mmmHmm
> 
>  
> 
> Feel free to leave a comment, and a kudos!
> 
>  
> 
> [Me](https://twitter.com/Bes_Chicken)


	8. B.A.P- 8: Junhong in a nutshell

 

 

Junhong: It’s okay, I don’t even care *cares very much

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ran out of ideas 
> 
>  
> 
> [me](https://twitter.com/Bes_Chicken)


	9. 9. NCT (2018) - 9: Lucas/Yukhei's cursing habits are to be blamed on?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this very, very serious series, we cover K-Groups having their everyday conversations with each other.  
> But, more importantly; today this chapter is about all of NCT arguing about who taught Lucas to curse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mM, guess who updated this big bitch of a series? That's right, your one and only bitchass writer who writes on here every two fucking weeks haHa  
> But, I'd to bring attention (Up10tion?) to this 
> 
> [another small series I'm doing, because I don't already have too many docs and fics](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14951186/chapters/34645067)
> 
> See you later, enjoy this all eighteen NCT, which may or may not be characterized properly.

 

 

 

Taeyong: Yukhei, if you don’t put that down

  


Yukhei: I’m Lucas, and Yukhei-

 

Yukhei: also no

  


Yuta: and you have like eighteen other names

  


Mark: I wonder if that was an intentional pun

  


Johnny: I wouldn’t count on it

  


Sicheng: Yuta-Hyung has never been the smartest

  


Yuta: mmmmmmhhgg

  


Ten: did he just fucking growl?

  


Mark: eureureong…

  


Johnny: eureuREONG

  


Jungwoo: hehe

  


Kun: I’m leaving

  


Taeil: oh my god

  


Taeyong: I fucking hate my life

  


Jisung: Fucking?

  


Chenle: :))

  


Ten: ohohoohhoohhoohh this’ll be fun

  


Yukhei* raising his hands up: thAT WASN'T MY FAULT

  


Dongyoung: this time

  


Donghyuck: I take no responsibility

  


Mark: weren’t you the one who taught Lucas-Hyung the curses anyway?

  


Taeyong: well?

  


Donghyuck: no I didn’t.

  


Renjun: yes he did

  


Jungwoo: maybe he was trying to help.?

  


Yukhei: Yeah, sure honey bun

  
  


Taeil: you two are disgustingly cute

  


Kun: why is everyone ignoring that Taeyong-Hyung was the one who said fuck?

  
  


The seventeen boys stop, and just stare at him for a few seconds.

Before immediately returning to their original conversation.

  
  


Jungwoo: I’m a lover, not a fighter

  


Yukhei: and I’m a romantic boy too, but Jungwoo will fuck someone up though

  
  


Ten: when he’s says “romantic” he means greasy as fuck

  


Johnny: look who your boyfriend is

  


Ten: did- did you just out yourself?

  


Yuta: _look who your boyfriend is_

  


Sicheng: proceeds to show you how much of an idiot he is

  


Mark: ah young love

  


Taeil: you’re young! _Unlike me_

  


Jeno: ooh I sense salt

  


Mark: I don’t got time for any relationship

  


Chenle: [Donghyuk-Hyung rn- ](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1K_ZQzbHN4LIop2ri6PzrVF3T0O_MDlS_Q5zTPqiX78E/edit)

  


Yukhei: hA

  


Johnny: that’s fucking great

  


Ten: me

  


Sicheng: it looks like Mark whenever he debuts _again_

 

Chenle: more salt?

  


Jaemin: definite salt

  


Jeno: mmMmmmmMmhHHHHhhh

  


Renjun: [Sicheng-Ge?](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/67/Fries_2.jpg)

  
  


Mark: slammed

  


Johnny: des-fucking-troyed

  


Jaemin: disintegrated

  


Yukhei: Ooh ohh me toooo

  


Yukhei: umm???? Papaya?

  


Jungwoo: Christ um-

  


Jisung: demolished?

  


Yukhei; thanK KID

  
  
  
  


Yuta: demolished

  


Yukhei: why

  


Jungwoo: If you weren’t my Hyung I’d would have fucking destroyed you

  


Yuta & Ten: don’t you mean demolished?

  


Kun: * thinking: **_How am I going to lead a group? I hate everyone here._ **

  
  


Donghyuck: hA

  
  


Johnny: shut it curly fries

  
  


Donghyuck: bitches! _All of you_

  


Yuta: am I supposed to be hurt by that?

  


Dongyoung: yeah if anything I’m goddamn relieved

  


Jungwoo: what happened to not cussing in front of the kids?

 

Yukhei: pumpkin, you curse all the motherfucking time

  


Jisung: oh? Is that where you learned it from?

  


Taeil: no, he got it from Hyuckie

  
  
  


Taeyong: Donghyuck….

  


Donghyuck: donghyuck? Hyuckie? My name’s Haechan bYE

  


Taeyong: boY

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there was that. I kinda don't know what to do now? You know that feeling of when you finish something, like a chapter and there's that feeling of just "Well, I guess this is where I am now."?
> 
> That's me in a sentence.


	10. 10. EXO - 10: Chanyeol never learns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This what I imagine Chansoo's daily life is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)

 

 

 

Chanyeol: come _on_

  


Kyungsoo: no

  


Chanyeol: I just wanna pick you up, and cradle you and make sure no one ever hurts you..

  


Kyungsoo: I do a good enough job on my own

  


Kyungsoo: he-Hey! Put _me down_

  


Chanyeol: don’t hit me! Stop!

  


Kyungsoo: Put me the fuck down and I won’t have to!

  
  


Chanyeol: mmmmmm nope

  
  


Kyungsoo: you fucking tall green bean put me down!!

  


Chanyeol:....am I a tall green bean? Do I look like one..?

  


Kyungsoo: Fucking Christ

  


 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I'm tired, it's like 3am


	11. 11. BTS - 11: Hoseok thinks he may just be too strong for his fellow dance line member

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You'd think over time Hoseok would learn to at least pay attention, but no. Which is exactly hoe Jimin ends up the way he does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sO low-key scared as fuck, because this is one of the first times I'm writing for my bias group. 
> 
> Jesus take the wheel

 

 

 

 

Hoseok was showing his fellow dance line member a move that the younger couldn’t get down; so like the amazing Hyung he is- he willingly and happily helps.

  


The practice room smelled of sweat, the scent almost reminds Hoseok of the boys locker room back in high school.

Which may or may not have been one of the worst thing he has ever smelt.

  


In the middle of showing Jimin a move, Hoseok sharply rears his elbow back, and hits soft flesh.

 

“Huh?” He turns questioningly, he sees the younger holding his face with a small amused smile.

  


It takes him second to put two and two together.

Jimin is on the floor, Hoseok hit something- fuck.

 

“Shit! A-fuck- are you okay?” Jimin laughs quietly at the older’s panicking form. The concern from the other warms him from the inside.

  


Hoseok gently grabs Jimin’s face as he squeezes the younger man’s cheeks; his dongsaeng holds up a thumbs-up next to his puffed cheeks.

 

“Yeah, I’m okay.” The muffled squeak causes Hoseok to chuckle, the worry slowly leaving him.

 

“Alright, Jiminie, just one thing?” Jimin eyes turn curious, pulling himself off the floor.

 

“Hm, Hyung?”

  


“Try not to get hit by my super strong elbow next time.” Neither last a moment before they dissolve into laughter.

The writhing pair on the floor, it almost (it does) looks like an insane asylum to Yoongi who walks in- and walks straight back out.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that I think about it, I hope I didn't scare anyone with the summary and title. 
> 
> (or do I?)


	12. BTS- 12: Taehyung is just a strange one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Man, I don't even know at this point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is what writing at 3am does to a person

 

 

Taehyung: would it be weird to introduce myself to someone through jazz hands

 

Yoongi: through jazz- you’re fucking insufferable

  


Taehyung *sadly jazz hands away

  


Yoongi: I’m fucking leaving.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I imagine Taehyung's usual state of mind, just being everyone else's 4am brain. 
> 
> Which luckily for me, that is common for this bitch right here! (If you imagine a pained smile, and a single tear running down someone's face- yeah, that's me.)
> 
> jk


	13. EXO- 13: This is literally my characterization of EXO in a single chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once again, Chanyeol should really learn to not say these things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At some point writing on here, you're probably gonna see me write some weird shit. aheM and by that I mean certain Aus, and making my own "world" and basically wanting to die but also enjoying it.

 

 

 

Chanyeol: what’s worse, Kyungsoo not speaking to me, or Soo yelling at me?

 

Sehun: is that legitimate question?

 

Chanyeol: sure

 

Jongin: I can’t deal with either if I’m being honest, I like Kyungsoo talking to me- not scream- well, not yelling at me

 

Baekhyun: in this _outlandish_ scenario, is he chasing you with a knife?

 

Jongdae: silent treatment knife chasing, or yelling knife chasing?

 

Baekhyun: I’ve experienced both multiple times, doesn’t matter to me

 

Minseok: how do you manage to piss him off that much?

 

Junmyeon: Wait a minute- multiple times?

 

Jongdae: is that what all that screaming is? And here I thought you and Soo were having fun

 

Minseok: ugh

 

Chanyeol: I don’t think I needed that image in my brain

 

Jongdae: LiES

 

Sehun: you did, we all did

 

Kyungsoo: I’m really leaving this fucking group goddammit I hate all of you

 

Yixing: :(

 

Kyungsoo: I love you, Hyung, Minseok-Hyung and Junmyeon-Hyung can stay, Jongin and Sehun-Ah too, the rest can die violent deaths

 

Baekhyun: isn’t that only Yeol, Dae and I?

 

Chanyeol: I’m so fucking offended! You put me with these people? The fuck

 

Jongdae: these peop- excuse me hoe

 

Yixing: I don’t mean to interrupt your little talk, but Soo is searching in the kitchen.

 

Minseok: Ah the fucker is gonna get a knife

 

Junmyeon: the fact that you already know his plan worries me

 

Jongdae: fuck

 

Baekhyun: ehhhhhhhhhhghhhhhh help us! If not us then help _me_

 

Sehun: mm still no

 

Chanyeol: I’ll have to say

 

Chanyeol: good luck every man for himself!

 

Baekhyun: mmhm

 

Jongin: Dae is already gone btw

 

Sehun: is that screaming?

 

Minseok: Yeah

 

Junmyeon: joy.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, I love my little murderous Soo-Boo
> 
> Wait I just had a 4am thought. 
> 
> I’ve seen multiple people with Taeyong as their bias in nct, and Wonpil as their bias in day6 including myself
> 
> Does that mean we (the TY and Wonpil stans) have these biases because we love their subby nature..?
> 
> (Obviously that’s not the whole reason why we have those biases, but it’s just a similarity in between the two)
> 
>  
> 
> Honestly a bitch could go ona whole rant about Taeyong, Wonpil is literally set in my mind. But- is, is what I just typed true?
> 
> Did what I just type with my two thumbs and read it with my own eyes true?
> 
> Did a bitch just drop some truth..?


	14. B.A.P - 14: (Me: I'm really sad)- Jongup needs an adult, and those adults aren't DaeJae

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Himchan wanted to kill Daehyun and Youngjae the entire span of their shared career; but this may just be the finally straw

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may start crying again

 

 

 

Himchan: Jongup, what _are_ you doing?

  


Jongup: Making ice cream sandwiches!

  


Himchan: But with- with bread and ice-ice cream..?

 

Jongup: no, I’m pretty sure it isn’t made like this, but this is how Youngjae-Hyung and Daehyunie-Hyung wanted me to make it

  


Himchan: I’m gonna kill them

 

 

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so fucking sad, [B.A.P Gets Emotional Talking About Contracts And It Possibly Being Their Last Concert Together](https://beta.soompi.com/article/1204033/b-p-gets-emotional-talking-contracts-possibly-last-concert-together)
> 
>  
> 
> B.A.P was one of the first groups I got into, and seeing this; them talking about their contracts and the last concert as a six.. man it got me crying in a public place.
> 
> But in a way I'm not all that worried. Because through them serving their military service, and eventually disbanding as a kpop group.
> 
> They'll always have each other.


	15. Nine Percent/9 %- 15: Headcanons (Kill me)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't ask, just blame Rese for dragging my ass kicking and screaming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sO, because I've procrastinated like the bitch I am, and decided to update this again.
> 
> That and I have to get my mind off of Hyungwon for a bit.
> 
> I've prepared a gif, a single gif of the one and only Chen Linong.  
> [Bless yourself](https://78.media.tumblr.com/b4f6bc985c2faeb9e6b375083974f1c2/tumblr_p6or5l69ld1x3pevio1_500.gif)
> 
> ( [Source](https://forlinong.tumblr.com/post/172605454014/180405-%E6%91%84%E5%BD%B1%E5%B8%88gabrielle-weibo-update-with-chen) )
> 
> Now I originally had a gif of Xukun, but I can't find the link so you're stuck with that bunny
> 
> I make up some weird fucking nicknames,  
> Chen Linong: Bunny
> 
> Cai Xukun: Daniel
> 
> Qin Fen: F leader
> 
> Zhu Zhengting: Mother
> 
> Fan Chengcheng: I just call him Adam
> 
> Li Quanzhe: Cheeks (This one wasn't made up by me)
> 
> And that's just naming a few. (fuck me) Let's get to this piece of shit

  *   
  

    *   Xukun totally calls his person babygirl/babyboy.
    *  I can feel it in my bones
    *  (Totally not because of that horrible song)
    *  this bitch may start to say it to point where it becomes a lil annoying but everyone would put up with this shit because it's him and  if you wouldn't you iz cray
  

    *  listen, he to me- is low key high key a babyboy
    *  ey if I can even kinda see Minseok like that, I can damn well see Xukun like this aite
  

    *  Yanjun being the greasy cheesiest(?)bitchass of a ball ever
    *    Maaannnnnnnn someboy help Xukun, and basically everybody in his group (pst follow BC221 and Awaken-F! My tol baby Bufan is debuting in BCC211, and Qin Fen is debuting in Awaken-F)
    * This child is need of guidance, he’s stRESSED
    * Zhengting needs a wine break
    * if I had to care for Justin and Chengcheng for iono how many years of my life I’d need one too
        
  * My little babyboy, Nongnong- he is actually my child
  * ****
    * despite being older than me and somehow is taller?
    * Like dafuq? He looks like he should be 5’6/7 just by face alone
    * His voice, mmmmmm girllllll
    * that tie.. Jesus
    * help them (and me)
  
   

    * Daniel # 2 over here is a flirtatious lil bastard, but for some reason I get the feeling he’s a bit shy
  

    * Maybe secretly a lil insecure?
  
  

    * I see him having a bit of a problem with needing to be perfect.
  

    * it’s a problem I see a lot with people who were in survival shows.
  

    * Staged or not, it’s still very stressful at least in my opinion
  

    * this bitchass needs cuddles,
    * a fuck ton of them so be ready hoes.
  

    * Cue Ziyi sitting in the corner sad, because his “bro” isn’t with him
  

    * I swear, everytime they talk about each other which they do constantly a little bit more of their gay shows
  
  

    * actually that whole song gave me NCT firetruck vibes.
    * Also known as what murdered my ass
  *     * What’s new? Personally, I didn’t even know that Linong and Xukun were a ship for me until a bitch saw those fucking adorable photos
    * this was supposed to be general headcanons but turned into a steaming fucking mess
    * these boys make me cry
    * okay but wait a minute was a song that needs to be heard
    * I don’t even know if it was Zhengting or not but the first “Wait a minute” reminded me so much of Taeyong from NCT that I had to pause for a second and scream
  *   
    * Fucking pricks
    * I was just watching that shit not knowing it was yuehwa
  *   
    * I knew it was a group that spawned from idol producer like mr-x (don't get me started)
  *   
    * Imagine my shock when goddamn Chengcheng, Zhengting, Justin, and Quanzhe (He reminds me so much of Kim Minseok it’s insane, cept’ hes a lot taller although that's not difficult) show their faces
    * The pain
    * But let’s get back to the headcanons
  

    * Linong is very sweet, and pretty innocent and Zhengting tries his hardest to keep Yanjun and Zhengjing from corrupting the boy
    * With varying degrees of success
  *   
    * The time Linong asked “Ge, Yanjun-Ge said my face was sexy as fuck and in need of loving? What does that mean?” Cue Mother’s heart attack
  *   
    * Zhengting may not look like it, but he’s the most terrifying out of the team
  *   
    * Even Ziyi cowers from his wrath.
  *   
    * Yanjun is somehow less afraid when Ting is mad, and is more scared of when he’s back to normal
    *  walking around with that comforting and sweet smile.
    * In Yanjun's mind, Zhengting is waiting for the right moment to murder him (Betta watch your ass Yanjun)
  *    

    * So I just looked up their ages and holy shit, Zhengjing is the oldest? The shit? I feel like my life has been a lie
  *   
    * I can’t anymore



 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate this format so much, I never write in this and I fucking hate it
> 
> whY are some circles bigger than others? faCk


	16. GOT7- 16: The pain of playing a SuperStar game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (I never know what what to do with the summary)
> 
> Jinyoung is the embodiment of the anger you get when that one fucking S card won't eat anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Excuse me while I vent.

 

 

 

Jackson: sO! You’re telling me that, _you,_ Park-fucking-Jinyoung- is playing JYP Superstar, and your best card isn’t yourself?

 

Jinyoung: Basically.

 

Mark: Why?

 

Jaebum: What’s worse is that it’s a fucking Bambam card

 

Youngjae: Jesus, where has our Jinyoungie-Hyung gone off to?

 

Bambam: I’m honored!

 

Jinyoung: Mmm, well; I have a four star S card of myself, and one fully leveled up card of me, but I refuse to eat whatever I feed myself.

 

Jackson: We’re gonna ignore how he’s speaking, right?

 

Mark: Yeah

 

Jackson: mm gotcha

  


Jinyoung: bUT, I have an R 99 Bambam card because that bitch eats everything

 

Bambam: Less honored

 

Jinyoung: I’ve tried everything, from Jacksons, to Taecyeon-Sunbaenim cards- and still nothING

 

Bambam: whAT

 

Bambam: There must be something wrong withchu

 

Jackson: buT the real question is; did I eat Taecyeon??

 

Youngjae: I’m both disappointed in my group, but also so very proud.

 

Jaebum: wow

 

Yugyeom: What the fuck is wrong with you

 

Jaebum: Not even the Taecyeon cards?

 

Jinyoung: i knOW

 

Mark: The fuck?

 

Yugyeom: uh

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Personally, I have less of a problem with JYP buT SM are fucking pricks
> 
> I don't think C cards have the riGHt to fail, (I'm pissed)


	17. NCT (2018): - 17: NCT is sent into a panic, (maybe?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (I have no fucking clue what to write-)
> 
> Taeil is the eldest, loved by most of his dongsaengs; despite his strange tendencies,  
> So how will the group react when they assume something terribly happened?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, haven't seen ya'll in a while, huh? 
> 
> (BTW, I use "Doyoung" to avoid confusion)

 

 

 

 

Ten: Shit! Is Taeil dead??  


 

Kun: WHat? No no no no no no please

  


Taeyong: nO I CAN'T SURVIVE WITH MY ELDEST HYUNG- and my oldest son..

  
  


Mark: CHrist, fuCK UH

  


Chenle: is-is anybody there, or is it just you, Hyung?

  


Ten: oh I’m not there, it’s Yukhei

  


Donghyuck: oh, that’s why he’s dead

  


Renjun: mmm yes it all makes sense now

  


Sicheng: can-can he do CPR?

  


Johnny: It’s less if he can do it, and more of would you let him?

  


Yuta: The bitch is kinda our last option here

  


Jisung: How does one _do_ CRP??

  


Jaehyun: well,  I heard doing it to the beat of stayin’ alive is one of the best ways

  
  


Yukhei: false, Jungwoo hates doing it to music

  
  


Jaemin: no

  


Mark: oh dear fuck

  
  


Kun: Can I go die with Taeil please

  
  


Jeno: take me with you

  


Kun: sure why not

  
  


Jungwoo: actually Jaehyun is right!

  
  


Johnny: about which part?

  


Taeyong: Is it wrong of me to say I’m not interested in those details

  


Donghyuk: no, that’s just being a normal human

  
  


Yuta: iono

  


Sicheng: no

 

Yuta: aite

  
  


Chenle: damn hes whipped

  


Ten: that was not an plead for details btw

  
  


Yuta: damn

  


Kun: [please](https://78.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbn24hZymR1rry260.jpg)

  
  


Jisung: oh, he’s not dead he’s taking a nap

  


Sicheng: oh thank god

  


Taeyong: mother of god

  


Jeno: Ten-Hyung lied?

  


Ten: well he wasn’t breathing

  


Jeno: did you check?

 

Ten: nah I assumed

 

Ten: also how could I? A bitch said he wasn’t there the fuck

 

Chenle: wh

  
  


Yukhei: could I do CPR to the beat of chewing gum?

  


Jaemin: listen, that is one of like two title songs I’m in, so don’t you dare stain them with your dirty hands like that.

 

Jaemin: *please, Hyung

 

Johnny: smooth kid

 

Jaemin: uwu

  
  


Jungwoo: how cute.

  


Yukhei: I was just asking, I swear!

 

Renjun: lies

  


Yuta: yeah, I sense bullshit

  


Ten: agreed

 

Yuta: nvm

 

Donghyuck: wait hes nOt dead?

  


Donghyuck: damn I was already making an ebay account for all his shit

  


Doyoung: Do you have room for a business partner?

  


Donghyuck: no

  


Mark: yes he does

  


Donghyuck: uM no I don’t?

  


Sicheng: You don’t? Mm, that’s shame. Doyoung-Hyung and I were gonna join as a pair

  


Donghyuck: oOP I have space

  


Chenle: the power Sicheng-Hyung holds is awesome

  


Taeyong: honestly, he could plot to take over the world and I’d gladly help

 

Ten: this man could stab me and I’d still thank him

  


Jeno: same

 

Jaemin: wait

  


Jisung: I don’t deserve this

  


Mark: Be ready, Kun-Hyung, this is the life of being a leader

  


Jungwoo: Don’t scare him so much Minhyung-Ah

  


Yukhei: don’t scare him a little bit, scare the ever-loving shit outTA HIM

  
  


Kun: great.

  
  


Taeyong: I have like ten bottles of wine, and various other things to calm us leaders down! Don’t worry young one

  


Jaehyun: ?????

  
  


Yuta: and why have I never been invited to these drinking leader parties?

  


Ten: because who’d wanna invite your ugly ass, and also- who’d invite yOu when they have me? Like the fuck?

  


Yuta: you didn’t get invited either huh

 

Ten: no.

  
  


Donghyuck: gee I wonder why

  


Yuta: you got somethin’ to say child?

  


Mark: he means no wonder you didn’t get invited, neither of you are leaders as of now

  


Sicheng: no offense, but I hope you never are Yuta-Hyung

  


Yuta: yAH

  


Ten: hA my man believes in me

 

Johnny: you’d be a shit leader

 

Ten: tru

  
  


Yukhei: what ABOUT ME???

  


Jungwoo: Honey, no, I love you but I’d never willingly put the lives of any of our members- future or present ones into your hands.

  


Yukhei: 0–0

  
  
  


Jaehyun: I don’t understand how we went from Taeil-Hyung being dead to him taking a nap,

from Sicheng’s future world domination to our leader being a fucking alcoholic

  


Doyoung: evolution

  


Sicheng: but Taeyong-Hyung has horrible tolerance??

  


Renjun: yeah back to that

 

Renjun: I’d help, but I’d be a little mad that my plan for world domination didn’t work first

  


Kun: wait what

  


Taeil: what the fuck is wrong with you little fucks?

 

Taeil: shut up, and go the fuck to sleep you bitchy little gremlins

 

Yukhei: [oof](https://ih1.redbubble.net/image.475371458.6080/flat,550x550,075,f.jpg)

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's with me and the really dramatic intros? 
> 
> Anyway- I'm really sorry, I swear I'll update [MX](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14951186/chapters/34645067) soon!
> 
> As I've said, Hyungwon is on the way. While writing his, I realized how much I don't have a characterization of him.  
> He's so unknown to me in a way that the rest of them aren't.
> 
> I don't write them the best, I know that; but I aim to write other groups as well, if not better as I write EXO.  
> (To clarify)  
> Out of all of my stan groups, it's them that I write them the best.
> 
> AnyWAy, back to what I was saying- sorry, I got off track. Hyungwon wILL be out, not today, maybe not even tomorrow but very, veRY SOON.
> 
> Trust me.


	18. B.A.P- 18: Daejae.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't ask

 

 

 

Daehyun: Okay heteros

 

Youngjae: You’re triggering me

 

 

 

 


	19. GOT7- 19: Jackson is a gem (Ft: Hyunjin from Stray Kids)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love him

 

 

 

 

 

Jackson: well- you never told me nOT to do it????

  
  


Jaebum: he shouldn’t have to

  


Jinyoung: I dIDNT- I FUCKING TOLD YOU TO GO OUT AND HAVE FUN MAYBE RELAX!! I DONT KNOW! NOT STRIP AND WIGGLE YOUR ASS ON OUR GODDAMN COFFEE TABLE

  


Bambam: uh

 

Bambam: well um this is awkward, um guys?

 

Jinyoung: whAT

 

Bambam; this is Hyunjin, he’s a-

 

Bambam: *snorts

 

Bambam: a real big fan of yours, Hyung

  
  


Jinyoung: oh shi- ahEM, hello

  


Hyunjin: ^-^

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What an adorable piece of shit
> 
> (caps lock is a gift)


	20. EXO- 20:(Bes: I want to talk about bap.)Sehun is honestly the bitchest bitch, to ever bitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a few thoughts, I’d appreciate it if you could read them later.
> 
> I’m sorry for any mistake I made, it’s almost four am.
> 
> I’m sorry.

 

 

 

 

Sehun: You know when in high school movies the kid sings happy birthday to themselves?

 

Jongdae: “Happy birthday to me…” *insert sad ugly sobs here*

 

Sehun: yeah, like yes bitch Im singing to myself

 

Sehun: I’m the baddest bitch, and I’m happier around myself than most people

 

Baekhyun: honestly, big mood

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Legitimately was declined) 8/19/18 - (I’m assuming this is just when it was announced) 8/23/18
> 
>  
> 
> The day that Bang Yongguk departed from TS Entertainment. 
> 
> It’s late, and I’m still crying so I’ll link it in the morning but I’d like to say something here. 
> 
>  
> 
> Bang Yongguk is an amazing man, Kim Himchan, Jung Daehyun, Yoo Youngjae, Moon Jongup, and Choi Junhong are no different. 
> 
> I can’t say how glad I am that six idiots, six boys with dreams that came true found each other in such a shitty company. 
> 
> Despite being treated horribly, despite the law suit, they toughed it out either for themselves or for us. 
> 
> I admit, I’m still pretty new. I had stanned for maybe a few months before honeymoon came out so I’m not as familiar with the exact details of said law suit.
> 
> But they were brave. 
> 
>  
> 
> They did what other groups fear.  
> All of them, sued their employer.  
> Maybe it didn’t go as well as they’d hoped.
> 
>  
> 
> Years later, enduring the same treatment that TS had maybe promised to stop.  
> They came out and said details about their contract and that it was coming to an end. 
> 
> I hope TS was shocked.  
> I hope they didn’t know what B.A.P were going to say. 
> 
> I fucking hope, I hope that TS doesn’t treat the rookie group that same disgusting way.
> 
> They’re kids, children who didn’t know. And even if they did know the company’s reputation, were these children who wanted fame, and recognition going to decline?
> 
>  
> 
> In the end the only people who truly know what went on in that building is B.A.P, their management and possibly now the kids. 
> 
>  
> 
> Yongguk isn’t signed to TS anymore, nor is he technically apart of B.A.P. But will that stop me from calling him their leader? No. 
> 
> Will that stop me from waiting for B.A.P to slowly depart and join their leader? No, I’ll be there waving a fucking banner with glitter and outlined letters!
> 
>  
> 
> Even if this sounds horribly sweet and tacky to me as a person that cringes at almost everything remotely kind.
> 
> We are family. B.A.P eventually won’t be an official group with a company behind their name, but they will always be family. 
> 
> B.A.P will always remain B.A.P, just as Babyz will always remain Babyz.
> 
>  
> 
> ( [TS Entertainment Announces Bang Yong Guk’s Decision To Not Renew Contract + Departure From B.A.P](https://www.soompi.com/article/1219105wpp/ts-entertainment-announces-bang-yong-guks-decision-not-renew-contract-departure-b-p) )


	21. EXO- 21: Yixing is cute af

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But is that something that we didn't already know?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, hey, hEEYYYY
> 
> That is all. 
> 
> (I just wanted to do that :) )

 

 

 

Yixing: (•-•)

 

Baekhyun: oMG what is thAT

 

Baekhyun: it’s so cute!!

 

Yixing: it’s me

 

Sehun: Hyung is saying he’s adorable, and I agree

 

Chanyeol: The uwu is real

 

Yixing: uwu

 

Jongdae: he diD NOT

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (•-•), he did. 
> 
>  
> 
> \ \/ /  
> / /\ \
> 
> (A/N)
> 
> I would like to state it here, this does contain offensive humor, extreme amounts of it, this story is mostly very sarcastic. I'll make fun of a lot, to try and either lighten up some situations, or just to and make myself feel better. (I'd never make fun of a very, very serious topic.)
> 
> So if I've ever offended anyone, I'm sorry. I will make sure that it is known when I'm being sarcastic or joking.   
> If I don't, or if you are confused, please, tell me.   
> So that I can do better, and so that I don't disappoint. From now on, I'll do better! - sincerely, Bes.


	22. EXO- 22: lowkey relate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this week's episode we tackle Minseok's problem with ripping off limbs from certain people, how will Jongin react? Find out after the break!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Above is what happens when you binge watch YT clips of all those shows with the lie detector, you are the father, you are nOT the father.   
> Not me, though. Course not, I'm not doing that in my spare time haHa why would I do that-?

 

 

Minseok: See, Jonginie, I’m not like you

 

Minseok: I’m not forgiving

 

Minseok: The first thing I think of isn’t forgiveness, it’s whether or not to pummel them into the ground, or just plain rip their legs off

 

Jongin: what a toss up, Hyung.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Like their legs in the air as he juggles them)


	23. BTS- 23: Taehyung has the mind of anyone at four-am (but it's at six-am)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I shall call this "The chronicles of Taehyung, four-am edition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi




 

 

 

Taehyung: do think if you burp, a bat miles away can hear you?

 

Hoseok: wha

 

Yoongi: it’s six in the goddamn morning and we’re in a mom van going to practice- shut the fuck up

 

Taehyung: yaY NAP TIME

 

Yoongi: kill me.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuckin' dork, also if I were to post a BTS oneshot/Drabble with Seokjin as the focus, would any of y’all be interested?


	24. NCT (2018)- 24: Question: what is your spirit animal?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Members: 
> 
> Taeil, Johnny, Taeyong, Yuta, Kun, Doyoung, Ten, Jaehyun, Jungwoo, Lucas, Mark, Donghyuck, Jeno, Jisung. 
> 
>  
> 
> (I think that's all of them in the chapter.)

 

 

 

Yuta: Question: what is your spirit animal?

Mark: stressed. Ready to pass out at any moment and in need of a good cry and hours upon hours of Netflix and tubs of ice cream.

  
Yukhei: a chICKEN

Yukhei: oh

Yukhei: well now I feel dumb

  
Jungwoo: That’s not an animal, Mark?

  
Mark: Due to lack of sleep, and not nearly enough sugar- I declare that it is in fact a goddamn animal

  
Ten: that got pretty dark really fast holy shit

  
Kun: don’t feel dumb, know that you’re an idiot

  
Donghyuck: education.

  
Johnny: Do you need some ice from that burn?

Jaehyun: do you need a gag to shut the fuck up?

  
Ten: DO. NOT. ANSWER THAT JOHNNY

Ten: I will cut off your arm and shove it down your throat without a second thought.

  
Yuta: @Ten, he’d love it.

  
Yukhei: wAHt

  
Yuta: pft

  
Yukhei: fiTE ME

  
Jisung: Why did Yukhei-Hyung run out of the dorm sobbing violently?

Taeil: I’m more worried over why he was there to begin with?

Taeyong: uh huh

  
Johnny: probably trying to corrupt the children

Donghyuck: you’re here more than he is.

Johnny: shut up?

Donghyuck: no?

 

Yukhei: nO

Yukhei: I wasNT

  
Jeno: ye pretty much

Yukhei: LiESS

  
Yukhei: doNT BELIEVE THE MUNCHKIN

  
Taeyong; I believe you, Hon

  
Doyoung: he doesn’t.

 

Jaehyun: nope not at all

  
Yukhei: gOD

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh don’t mind me, just Xiao De Jun killing me and Wong Kunhang (henDERY) owning my soul nothin much


	25. EXO- 25: Baekhyun questions many things when Yixing is involved.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baekhyun is just making a point and expects an answer but also expects nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I admit i know nothing so this chapter is just fully me bullshitting as I do

 

 

 

Baekhyun: being attracted to an attractive person isn’t really just a social norm

Baekhyun: personally for me; being attracted to that person is more so the predator inside you recognizing those genes that will almost definitely insure your children will be nearly perfect

Baekhyun: But men cannot reproduce with other men, so why do we like attractive men?

  
Jongin: is it Yixing-Hyung again?

  
Baekhyun: ye

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not saying he’s gay, I’m making a joke. (Said just in case)


	26. EXO- 26 (First EXO drabble): The Troubles of Peeling Grapes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If only Baekhyun had listened to Kyungsoo’s warnings, then they wouldn’t be hearing his yells in the early morning.
> 
> (Update: 140 words long)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, hey hey, haven’t seen me in a while huh? Well, assholes I’m baCk
> 
> Rejoice as this writer who is a fucking procrastinator posts something, the world must be ending.

 

>  

 

 

“Fucking-!” Jongdae is attracted to the kitchen by all the screaming; because he’s the screamer in this fucking group, why are people trying to take his spot?

 

“The fuck is wrong with him?” Kyungsoo glances over to where Jongdae is standing, “He didn’t believe me when I said peeling grapes is hard.” He takes a sip of his freshly brewed coffee.

 

 

“It’s really that hard?” Kyungsoo watches as his Hyung gets the look in his eyes, “Well, look at Baekhyun-Hyung, does it not look hard from the way he’s yelling in frustration?”

 

“I didn’t even know people peeled grapes?” Chanyeol murmurs from behind Kyungsoo.  
His hair still messy from just rising from his bed.

 

  
“I do it be-because it’s good use of my energy!” Baekhyun shouts out, hurting the eardrums of the men.  
Collectively- the trio rolls their eyes in sync.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I may have thought this while peeling grapes..
> 
> I was bored and didn’t want to finish my snack and instead just ending up shoving them in my mouth in frustration.
> 
> Don’t judge me, lil chicks (•-•)


	27. EXO- 27: In Which Baekhyun was all EXO-Ls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight implied Chenmin/Mindae, but that could just be Baekhyun’s weird mind dunno

 

 

 

Baekhyun: Where’s Minseok?

 

  
Minseok: I’m literally right here

 

  
Chanyeol: Oh? I thought you ran off with Jongdae-Hyung again

 

  
Minseok: Again? The fuck are you talking about

 

  
Sehun: we thought Hyung ran off with Jongdae to “practice”

 

  
Minseok: “practice”? Why the quotations?

 

  
Chanyeol: You know why :)))

 

  
Minseok: No I don’t, why don’t you tell me, Park Chanyeol.

 

  
Sehun: He’s saying we think the two of you run off to fu- uh

 

Kyungsoo: Yeah, shut the hell up

 

  
Minseok: He has my back, my young dongsaeng is my ride or die

 

Kyungsoo: exactly

 

Baekhyun: I shIP IT

 

Minseok: motherfucker you’d betta run

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I regret nothing


	28. BTS- 28: He’s completely right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Though he could never bring himself to do so.

 

 

 

 

Yoongi: what if one day instead of accepting this shit, I just leave.

 

 

 

 

 


	29. MONSTA X- 29: We all relate to Kihyun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're Yoo Kihyun, I'm Yoo Kihyun. We are all Yoo Kihyun.

 

 

 

 

 

Changkyun: do any of you guys remember hurting yourself and running to your parent pointing to a part of your body saying “what’s this? It hurts?”

 

Changkyun: or is that just me?

  


Kihyun: no, I don’t

 

Hyungwon: Ah yes, Because he was the one doing the hurting of the children.

 

Kihyun:.....how dare you.. you’re right.

  


 

 

 

Hyungwon: called it

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	30. GOT7- 30: Fluffy socks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackson breaks, after months, and months of holding it back.
> 
> He shatters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Sorry if that summary was too serious, I just wanted to freak yall out)
> 
> I actually wrote 'chanclas" before realizing that it was not correct, and that I don't even know if they know that word

 

 

 

 

 

Jackson: I’m just gonna say it

  
  


Mark: fucking say it

  
  
  


Jackson: anybody who wears fluffy socks with regular shoes are fucking psychopaths 

  
  


Mark: agreed. 

  
  


Jinyoung: finally, an intellectual

 

Youngjae: personally the only time when that’s okay is if you’re in a rush, all of the other socks are dirty/in the washing machine. 

 

Yugyeom: and then you turn, and there they are. Fluffy. 

 

Bambam: rainbow socks

  
  


Jackson: you just described a nightmare of mine >o<. 

  
  


Jaebum: kinda funny what I’m wearing rn

  
  


Bambam: oooh and what would that be? ;)

 

Jackson: ;))))))

 

Jinyoung: Ugh

  
  
  


Jaebum: rainbow fluffy socks that Youngjae gave me

  
  


Mark: oh my god

  
  


Youngjae: if you’re wearing shoes with them, I’ll never speak to you again Hyung 

 

Jaebum: I’m not

  
  


Bambam: Thank god

  
  


Jaebum: they’re slippers

 

Youngjae:……you’re not the same Im Jaebum I once knew

 

 

 

 

 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @ me, cowards.


	31. BTS- 31: What happens when the maknae line googles themselves (their group)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Contains mentions of moodboards, and as (blanks) 
> 
> Proceed with caution.
> 
> (jk)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this the part where I say something cute, and my readers collectively aw at my cuteness? 
> 
> i'm quirky, yAY- killme

 

 

 

Taehyung: did you guys know that if you search our name, along with “as” you get a bunch of random shit? 

 

Jimin: such as, let er’ rip Jungkookie

  
  


Jungkook; mm Hyung! “BTS as Pizza, BTS as sodas, BTS as donuts, BTS blue moodboard.” Etc etc

 

Namjoon: how- strange?

  
  


Seokjin: wow, color me impressed 

  
  


Hoseok: okay but what kind of pizza aM I?

  
  
  


Yoongi: I’m going to bed, I don’t know what you did

 

Yoongi: I’m angry, and I’m gonna try again

 

Yoongi: Motherfucker a Pizza?

  
  


Yoongi: no

  
  


Yoongi: goodnight you pricks. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, this is not poking fun at the people who make said moodboards and as (blanks)! (There’s a difference between being an asshole, and just being a teasing lil shit.) 
> 
> They do amazing jobs, I've seen some amazing boards before. As (blanks) are usually pretty fun too, but I draw the line when we start those as (insert food here) 
> 
> We gotta draw the line in the sand somewhere mAN, we all have limits and that's mine
> 
> (Coming from a girl who literally has an entire series dedicated to insane Kpop groups) 
> 
>  
> 
> I see like Yoongi as a cheese pizza or something and I close my computer, go cry, and come back even more emotionally unstable than I was before. 
> 
> haH, I need help, and sleep.


	32. EXO- 32: namanana

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> EXO throws Zhang Yixing appreciation-party in their fucking messy-as-fuck groupchat
> 
> (That's it, that's the update)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo yo yo yO what's crack-a-lackin'
> 
> It's me, Bes, I have returned my smol children!!
> 
> Back to update and go back into hiding and scream about comebacks/debuts, aheM Kim Donghan, ONER, NCT Dream, GOT7, Pentagon, Chanyeol and Sehun (We Young), and even The Boyz- don't judge me im just multifandom af 
> 
> (BTW, like I don't really stan these guys yet, but I thought the song was pretty good so here, [VAV(브이에이브이)_Senorita_Music Video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umv7vZ4SmCc))
> 
> Speaking of comebacks, i hereby introduce you to EXO freaking out over Zhang Yixing Namanana
> 
> (It gets real for like a second there, and then we go back to exo being dorks)

 

 

 

 

 

Baekhyun: cus we about to get raH RAH ROCKIN

 

Minseok: my literal king of the fucking music industry

  


Chanyeol: uHHN

  


Jongdae: im always wINNING THE RACE

  


Junmyeon: I’m ALWAYS, IM ALWAYS GETTIN FIRST PLACE

  
  


Jongin: hOO

  


Kyungsoo: hoo

  


Sehun: HOO

  


Yixing: namanana

  
  


Baekhyun: the kING HAS ARRIVED

  


Chanyeol: BOW DOWN BEFORE HIS GREATNESS

  


Jongdae: “I’m hot like wasabi!”

 

Jongdae: yeAH YOU ARE

  


Baekhyun: bithjjg im cryin

  


Jongin: that fucking random ass orb

  


Junmyeon: apparently we “fedex’d” you your fucking glowing orb

  


Minseok: don’t even talk to me about orbs

 

Minseok: better yet, don’t speak to me at all

  


Minseok: howEVER

  


Minseok: I’m always, im always gettin first place

  


Junmyeon: hOO

  


Minseok: correct response

  


Jongdae: yaLL

  


Jongin: this was fucking amazing

  


Sehun: that cult sheep shit? Um fuck yes

 

Yixing: Thank you!

  


Baekhyun: a semi-naked Zhang Yixing on a cliff dancing for everyone to see? Fuck-to-the-yes

  


Kyungsoo: you did excellently, Hyung

  


Yixing: mm, thank you guys! I hope that next time you tell me i did great is when we meet face-to-face

 

Minseok: Yeah, us too

  


Junmyeon: don’t worry, Hyung.

  


Baekhyun: yeah, i mean, we’re gonna yell at you one-way-or another, so

  


Chanyeol: Just pull up skype. Crank the volume all the way up and you’re good

  


Jongin: it’s like we’re there with you!

  


Sehun: Or you could just tell the ceo to fuck off

  


Kyungsoo: probably a bad choice

 

Sehun: you never know until you try it

  


Jongdae:  lol

 

Yixing: god, i had forgotten how fun it was to sit back and watch you banter between yourselves

  
  


Baekhyun: um, that's called stalking.

  


Jongdae: is the stalker Xing tho? Cause, like- anydAY

  


Yixing: aaaannnnndd this is when I sign off and go to bed

  


Yixing: night, you fucking weirdos

  


Chanyeol: night, our _King_

  


Yixing: oh shut the fuck uP-

  


Yixing: gooDNIGHT you fucks

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [bless yourselves if you haven't heard it yet](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlUsnZjfYZA)


	33. EXO- 33: BaekXing, and MinYeol(?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What I think would happen if either of these pairs were in relationships with each other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no fucking clue what Minseok and Chanyeola are called

 

 

 

Baekhyun: Do you know that I could yell my love for you to the world in a few seconds?

  
  


Yixing: Huh? Oh, Baekie, that’s impossible-

  
  


Baekhyun: *a husky voice, a small breath tickles Yixing’s ear: I love you

  
  


Yixing: dear sweet baby- fuCK 

  
  
  


\ \

/ /

  
  
  


Chanyeol: I could scream my love for you and our whole world would hear.

  
  


Minseok: I know how this goes

 

Minseok: you come over here and whisper in my ear that you love me, and I get pissed because you orbit around me. 

  
  


Chanyeol: oh

  
  


Minseok: what. 

  
  


Chanyeol: I was gonna get like hundred megaphones 

  
  
  


Minseok:....somehow I feel better  

 

Chanyeol: tHANKS BABE

 

 

Chanyeol: I was helpful yAY

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is the segment I like to call [your dear author](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/40/09/6d/40096d49d871b56b85723d943e4f48aa.jpg) [shamelessly self promotes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16482020)
> 
> *Whispers: it’s Minseok and Baekhyun but- waaaiiitt for iiitttt, vampire Baekhyun and human Minseok for Halloween and also why not
> 
> (And Mark Lee makes an adorable appearance)


	34. BTS- 34: Yoongi’s inner dialogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ^w^

* * *

 

 

 

Yoongi: The term “what’s the big idea?!” Implies to there being an important idea, as you wouldn’t fuck with them otherwise.

  


Yoongi: personally, I feel that on deep emotional level.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not entirely sure that’s actually what that phrase means and I probably won’t find out because I’m too lazy to google it
> 
>  
> 
> (If you’re an Army who absolutely despises EXO, don’t read to end of the note. The X will be where the note for EXO begins. I hate that I need to put this warming.)
> 
>  
> 
> \ \/ /  
> / /\ \
> 
>  
> 
> (Shameless ctrl+c ctrl+v)
> 
>  
> 
> And this is the segment I like to call [your dear author](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/40/09/6d/40096d49d871b56b85723d943e4f48aa.jpg) [shamelessly self promotes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16482020)
> 
> *Whispers: it’s Minseok and Baekhyun but- waaaiiitt for iiitttt, vampire Baekhyun and human Minseok for Halloween and also why not
> 
> (And Mark Lee makes an adorable appearance)


	35. GOT7- 35: Hell fuckin’ yeah

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Literally just made the update schedule and I fucked it up already, classic fuckin me)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yugyeom: sometimes I feel like that audio clip going “Hell fuCKING YEAHHHH” and other times I just feel meh

  
  


Mark: duality at its finest 

  
  
  


Bambam: ^ me

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Hell fuckin yeAH](https://youtu.be/kHIsykDiAds)


	36. EXO- 36: The Bes Dancers Chat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Or- Jongin secretly reads Pinterest quotes and Yixing isn’t all that amused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there demons, it’s me, ya boi

 

 

 

 

Jongin; imagine the world if you had said everything you have ever forced back

 

Yixing: what is this Pinterest quote shit

  
  


Sehun: I’d be dead

  
  


Yixing: ?

  
  


Sehun: TBh I dIDNT like the drink Minseok made last night

 

Sehun: bUT I didn’t say it because if I did, I’d be fucking dead rn

  
  


Sehun: sO crisis avoided and your stupid lil piece of advice debunked

 

Sehun: hA

  
  


Yixing: that was quite the story 

  
  


Sehun: I know thank you Hyung

  
  


 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How would y’all feel if I posted a MCU oneshot with Peter and Tony?


	37. MONSTA X- 37: Rubber vs Spandex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve not made this mistake yet, but one day I probably will. I’ll look back on this chapter and wonder how in the fuck did I know

 

 

 

 

 

Changkyun: once instead of saying spandex, I said rubber

 

Changkyun: I had never felt such embarrassment and failure until that fucking moment 

  
  


Minhyuk: he thought he knew pain

  
  


Hyungwon: but alas he did not

 

 

 

 


	38. GOT7- 38: Jackson and his fear of bugs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost titled this Jackson’s daddy vs bugs, somehow I feel like I’ve lost.

 

 

 

 

Jackson: I’ve really only ever felt hate towards one thing

  
  


Bambam: gasp yourself

  
  


Jackson: no

  
  


Jackson: bugs

  
  


Jackson: my dad used to hear me scream, and would run to murder whatever was making me scream

 

Yugyeom: he’d hate me then 

 

Jaebum: I’m going to ignore that

  
  
  


Jackson: those certain points were the highlight of my childhood and I still consider them some of the happiest moments of my life to this very day. 

 

Jinyoung: seeing or, hearing your father protecting you from insects were the happiness moments of your life

 

Youngjae: I could see that happening

 

Mark: wild. 

 

 

 

 

 


	39. MONSTA X- 39: Hoseok and Kihyun have a couples dispute

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m fucking up this schedule so much dudes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahakillme

 

 

 

 

Hoseok: kiHYUN I waANNNA WEAR YA SHIRTS   
  
  


Kihyun: may I ask why?   
  
  
Hoseok: becasssseeee I want people to know who I belong to!!!   
  
  
Kihyun: shouldn’t that be the other way around?   
  
  
Hoseok: equality.   
  
  
Kihyun: Hyung, I’m-sm-smaLLer than you   
  
  
Hoseok: ya so   
  
  
Kihyun: they ain’t gonna fit you    
  
  
Hoseok: believe in me jagiiiyyaaaa!! You have some big ass shirts, probably to fool yourself into thinking you’re a big boy.    
  
  
Kihyun: you’re a brick fucking wall mixed with a silo, and I look handsome as fUcK in those oversized-sweaters so fUCK YOU.    
  
  


Hoseok: yEs you DO AND wait   
  


Hoseok: brick wall mixed with a si- you shut your bitch mouth.    
  
  
Kihyun: fuck. You. Hoseok 

  
  
  
Jooheon: weren’t they just arguing about Hoseok-Hyung wanting to wear Ki-Hyung’s clothes? How did we get here?   
  
  
  
Hyungwon: global warming.    
  
  
Changkyun: waht-

  
  
  


 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You ever just read something of yours and wonder how fucking sleep deprived you were?


	40. BTS- 40: Drunk Maknae line

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the shittest characterization of BTS I’ve ever seen 
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> That’s a lie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What’s crackin my dudes

 

 

 

 

Taehyung: guYS I JUSG ADOPTED A CAR   
  
  
Seokjin: Kim Taehyung, what in the fuck do you mean??   
  
  
Jimin: no he didn’t,   
  
Taehyung: I’m pICKHING UP DEHT CARR

 

  
Seokjin: excuse me?

 

Jimin: it’s a toy car he found on the side of the road

 

Jimin: we tried to stop him but him and that fucking blue car are Soulmates apparently 

  
  


Namjoon; oh well doesn’t that just explain everything. 

  
  


Jungkook: he’s just drunk, don’t worry Hyungs the two of us are with him   
  
Hoseok: that honestly gives me more reason to worry..   
  
  
Yoongi: It’s way too early for this shit   
  
  
Namjoon: it’s 12pm?   
  
  
Yoongi: exactly.    
  
  
Jimin: whEN was the last time you slept? Monday or something haha   
  
Seokjin: say it. I dare you   
  
  
Yoongi: Friday   
  
  
Jungkook: But it’s Thursday?   
  
  
Yoongi: exactly.    
  
  
Taehyung: ooHhh Jinnie-Hyung is about ya goo thefuck offh

 

 

 

 


	41. STRAY KIDS - 41: true pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, with these two chapters I’m introducing a new group! Please, give them a warm welcome in CLK!

 

 

 

Felix; have you ever hit your toe on the end of the chair and started screaming

 

Felix: and then two seconds later you’re standing there with a blank face, “that hurt.”

  
  


Jisung: Yeah

  
  


Seungmin: more than I’d like to admit, Hyung. 

  
  


Hyunjin: I say no but my bruised and pained pinkie toe says otherwise

  
  


Chan: I just never stop screaming

 

Chan: once you start me yelling I ain’t stopping

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if my characterizations aren’t the best yet!


	42. STRAY KIDS - 42: Holy guacamole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :)))))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with this second chapter, I officially declare Stray Kids apart of CLK and not just lurking in the tags! As this progresses they do have more chapters in my docs.
> 
>  
> 
> I recommend their music, and their survival show judged by JYP and watched by various JYP artists. 
> 
> And to the person who dragged me in, you know who you are, you twisted bitch

 

 

 

Jisung: do you think 6’0 dudes look at 6’0+ guys and think holy guacamole he’s big

 

Changbin: I hope they do

  
  


Chan: rather strange thought process  

  
  


Jeongin: that’s a new perspective!

  
  


Hyunjin: dunno. 

 

Hyunjin: Changbin-Hyung, when you look at a 5’2+ girl do you look up and as she towers over you, do you think “holy guacamole she’s tall”?

  
  


Minho: wow I’d beat him

 

Woojin: that was a bit uncalled f-f-haha- for Hyunjin-Ah

  
  


Changbin: I’m going to murder you, hide your body in the woods and allow Jisung to become the visual instead

 

Jisung: :D

  
  


Changbin: you may be outwardly beautiful buT on the inside you’re ugly af

  
  


Hyunjin: at least I’m pretty on the outside while you’re just ugly inside aNd out. 

  
  
  


Minho & Jisung:  _ O H  S H I T _

  
  


Felix: do I laugh or commit murder

  
  


Seungmin: multitask 

 

Felix: valid

  
  


Jeongin: *deep sigh

  
  


Chan: look what you’ve started Jisung, you should be ashamed 

  
  


Jisung: of what? Me starting the battle of the goddamn century?

  
  


Chan; no, for not bringing popcorn and helmets

  
  


Jisung: awww I knew I forgot somthiNG 

  
  


Minho: he’s making fun of you Jisung

  
  


Woojin: Don’t take it too harshly, dongsaeng

  
  


Jisung: :((

  
  


 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I hope I’m not clogging the SK tag with shit but here I am- clogging it up with the lowest of shit
> 
> (And I’m still reading, and watching SK things to learn and be able to write them better.)


	43. STRAY KIDS - 43: Colored pencil boxes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesus Christ the amount of times I’ve done this and hurt the hell outta my fingers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hA!! Would you look at that, chapters edited and out by ten pm? Holy shit Bes

 

 

 

 

Minho: do any of ya’ll remember when your parents would buy you colored pencils and when the initial closing flap would tear you’d use the back part where it was displayed from instead?

  
  


Felix: aHHHH the pain

 

Felix: of when you’d stick your finger through the hole showing the colored pencils and pull that shit through to make sure it was even and closed entirely

  
  


Hyunjin: holy shit memories

  
  


Chan: my childhood.

  
  


Woojin: I can’t really say I did that often

 

Woojin: I either always lent my pencils to other kids and never got them back or I’d accidentally snap them

  
  


Jeongin: Aw, no Hyung that’s a tragedy

  
  


Seungmin: did you at least use the jagged sticks to stab the other kids who stole your pencil?

  
  


Changbin: uh

  
  


Jisung: what richy

  
  


Changbin: hey

  
  


Hyunjin: do you hear that? I think it’s the sound of a bitch being problematic and rich af

  
  


Minho: he had those metal cases

 

Minho: that good shit

  
  
  


Changbin: I didn’t color not really

  
  


Chan: you played in your tennis courts instead? Hehe

  
  


Seungmin: had maids cook for you?

  
  


Jeongin: had a tv in your room?

  
  
  


Changbin: this is abuse

  
  


Minho: oh no we’re picking on the rich kid

 

Jisung: heavens no our lives are ruined

 

Changbin: istg

  
  


Minho; what’s he gonna do? Ban me from ever going to a McDonald’s again?

  
  


Jeongin: is that the worst thing you could think of?

  
  


Minho: dollar menu bitch

  
  


Chan: I agree. As a fairly poor trainee, McDonald’s was my lifesaver

 

Hyunjin: lies

 

Hyunjin: I refuse to believe your mother didn’t funnel money into your account nOPE nuh uh

 

Felix: as a boy who has a good living McDonald’s iS my lifesaver

  
  


Seungmin: But Jisung-Hyung lived in Malaysia? By that logic he most likely has money

 

Jisung: no comment

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Finger guns) ^-^


	44. EXO - 44: Visible Disappointment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What is this- updating on the schedule like I said was going to? The fuck is happening to your friendly neighborhood writer?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sup dudes

 

 

 

 

Baekhyun: do you ever do something in front of your friends expecting praise but you can literally _see_ the disappointment in their eyes?

 

Sehun: in this friendship? I think that feeling is exclusive to you and Chanyeol

 

Jongdae: Ah! And me too, the fuck Se?

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bye dudes


	45. EXO - 45: idol producer hoes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Idol producer broke me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there’s a fucking second season airing now just fucking rip my kidneys out already
> 
>  
> 
> This chapter be hella late since the first one ended like ten years ago but this written at the time

 

 

 

Yixing: Hey, So what did you think of the show? 

 

Yixing: we’ve finally ended the show, and I’m sorry I haven’t responded in a while I’ve been busy.

  
  
  


Jongdae: zalalalala za

 

Jongin: my baby

 

Yixing: oh

 

Yixing: you saw that already huh?

 

Baekhyun: brING MY CHILD BACK

 

Chanyeol: you fucKINF MONSTER

  
  


Yixing: listen, he’s no longer on the show for a reason. The audience favored other contestants more than others.

 

Yixing: I apologize to him, and I do hope he gets another chance, but next time, hopefully he’s learned from this and will capture the audience's attention.

  
  


Chanyeol: daMN how professional 

  
  


Sehun: personally I liked Qin Fen more

  
  


Minseok: and who the fuck asked

  
  


Junmyeon: Bufan

 

Chanyeol: who could have guessed

 

Minseok: tall, bumbling, and fairly attractive? What a type

  
  


Kyungsoo: this is a mess.

  
  


 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Imma be honest with y’all 
> 
>  
> 
> I’ve never finished the first season of idol producer- don’t fucking kill me guys
> 
>  
> 
> Btw I’ll love Jeffrey and Qin Fen (I called him F-Leader sry) Bufan till the day I fucking die


	46. MONSTA X - 46: uh huh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I remember when writing this I was humming the theme song to aaahhh real monster
> 
>  
> 
> Don’t fucking judge me

 

 

Changkyun: does it fuck you up that you never really see your true height?

 

Changkyun; eye level yes, but if your eyes were at say- your forehead thAT is your full height.

  
Jooheon: hm

 

Hyunwoo: I feel like that isn’t right 

  
  


Hyungwon: can’t I say do. Is this a short people thing or something, Kihyun?

  
  


Kihyun: I’m going to file off a piece of your leg bone off every day until you learn to shut the fuck up.

  
  


Minhyuk: he’d still be taller than you.

  
  


Hoseok: ooooh bitch betta run

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear the shit my mind comes up with


	47. BTS - 47: Extreme Pregnancy Cravings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> am I sure if any of these are right? no. are these healthy and should be eaten by a pregnant woman or anyone? probably fuckin not. and did i do any research for this? no because this is crack and I don't even want to be accurate

 

 

 

 

 

Taehyung: have you ever thought about what your cravings would be as a pregnant woman?

  
  


Namjoon: no?

  
  


Seokjin: I live as a woman with pregnancy cravings already, I don’t need to wonder.

  
  


Jungkook: I’ve never thought about it before but thanks for putting that in my brain

 

Taehyung: no problem bestie!

  
  


Jimin: I have thought about it, I have a feeling that it’d be pickles and strawberry milk blended together 

  
  


Yoongi: the  _ thought  _ of that made me want to vomit

  
  


Seokjin: I think it  _ would  _ make him vomit

 

Namjoon: pretty sure it will

  
  


Jungkook: Jesus Christ 

 

Hoseok: tomatoes, grape jelly, and kimchi

  
  


Taehyung: y’all are insane

  
  


Seokjin: coming from the boy who asked

  
  


Taehyung: I’m sorRY I didn’t know you would turn all fucking weird on me!!!!

  
  


Yoongi: I’m just gonna go to sleep, and Hyungie? Deal with this please 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not pregnant, and I've never been pregnant but I actually do think this shit with make you vomit.


	48. STRAY KIDS - 48: *whispers* jyp

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey dudes it’s been what like a month? haH yeah I don’t have an excuse... I’m sorry my babies your mother was gone for far too long but never fear for I am heRE 
> 
> (Yeah I may have been reading BNHA shit before even watching the anime but aye don’t worry I’ll fix that soon)
> 
>  
> 
> I feel like I should make a joke here like “mommy has returned” but I just can’t bring myself to do it

 

 

 

 

 

Chan: JYP came into our recording room the other day and asked me how it would feel if we added the  **_jyp_ ** whisper into our songs

 

Chan: I’ve never been so insulted, but also low key honored at the same time

  
  


Minho: did it go like this

  
  


Minho: (You: Oh, thank you sir, but-ah

 

JYP: Great idea?

  
  


You: mHm, bUT, sadly I can’t.

 

You: it’s simply too much of an honor! That and I hate the concept.)

 

Chan: well, I wasn’t that harsh, but kinda

  
  
  
  
  


 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I’ve started playing Mystic Messenger I’m on day five now (yoosung) I never got to play back when it was really fucking popular because I didn’t have a the space and I wasn’t that interested tbh
> 
>  
> 
> Now the picture of Seven kneeling on the ground in a nun outfit looking up at the camera and his hands clasped together to pray haunts my dreams
> 
>  
> 
> And you can take that in whatever way you’d like my children


	49. EXO - 49: is this gonna cause some shit?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I fuckin hope not

 

 

 

Chanyeol: do you think Baekhyun used to read snsd reactions

 

Jongdae: delete this

  


Minseok: I’ll fucking kill you

  


Chanyeol: it was jUST a question.????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t blame me okay, he probably did


	50. EXO - 50: Bathroom sink water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea

 

 

 

 

Sehun: did you drink the water from the bathroom sink as a child or something? Is that why you’re a fucking dumbass?

  
  


Chanyeol: listen asshole

  
  


Chanyeol: have I? Yes

 

Chanyeol: was it recently??? Well- what do you classify as recent?

 

 

 

 

 

 


	51. BTS - 51: tbh it’s fucking scary as hell man

 

 

 

 

Hoseok: I admit, I’ve had some very panic inducing moments in my life.

 

Hoseok: half of them being actually threatening to my life and the other is some rather- dumb shit I’d never speak about in public

 

Hoseok: But nearly dropping my phone in the toilet takes the fucking cake

  
  


Taehyung: O•O

 

Taehyung; you

  
  


Jungkook: no

  
  


Jungkook: :0

  
  


Jungkook: him

  
  


Taehyung:  _ shit _

 

Taehyung: you’re right

  
  
  


 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also with a phone case that has a stand (Ora Ora), sometimes when washing my face I’ve knocked it over before and there’s always a split second of Jesus fuck that went into the toilet.
> 
>  
> 
> It hasn’t happened yet tho, let’s cross our fingers and hope


	52. GOT7 - 52: Jaclyn the Smoker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing against Jaclyns, or smokers, or both actually

 

 

 

 

 

Yugyeom: is it weird that our fans can recognize our voices apart?

  


Mark: with the amount of effort that I put into this voice; drinking hot teas, etc- they fucking better tell the difference between me, and Jaclyn the smoker

  


Jackson: firsT of aLL

  


Jackson: how daRE you

 

Jackson: and can I please use Jaclyn the Smoker as my gamer handle

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was going to do something with Yandere MX for April fools but then I realized something. 
> 
> I’m fucking lazy, if I’m gonna work on anything from the Y-series, imma do it seriously. 
> 
>  
> 
> That and I’ve kept them waiting for so long and I’d rather not torture them.
> 
> I’m not that sadistic.  
> Not really. 
> 
>  
> 
> So instead of a prank, I’ve decided to post a while four chapters (yeah I know, and yes I have been replaced with an alien don’t draw too much attention to it) 
> 
> Amazing right?
> 
>  
> 
> (Because you cant hear my cracking ass voice there is so much sarcasm in those two words, I’m talking fucking /dripping/ with the shit and you can take that however you’d like dudes)


	53. (JBJ) Kim Donghan, (JBJ-95) Kim Sanggyun, (Pentagon) Jung Wooseok - 53: this was written so long ago

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah if the title wasn’t clear enough, this was written back when he collaborated

 

 

 

Donghan to Wooseok: Wooseokkkkk, can you feature in my song, pleaseeeeeeeee

  
  
  


-

 

Donghan to Sanggyun: whattdya mean you aren’t coming to the studio today? We were meant to record our song together?

 

Sanggyun: Song? What song?

  
  


Donghan: I-I told you a week ago! I stood in front of you and asked, Hyung will you feature in my song and you said yes, you even nodded your head??!!

  
  


Sanggyun;.............I’ll be right there

  
  


 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw I have no idea if these are very accurate


	54. BTS - 54: shoelaces

 

 

Jungkook: is it weird to anyone else that the first person who tied their shoelaces did some loops and hoped for the best?

 

Taehyung: woahhhhh geniuS

 

Hoseok: I’m genuinely curious, how in the fuck do you maknaes come up with this shit?

 

Taehyung: yO

 

Namjoon: actually, and I hate to admit this. It’s a strangely interesting train of thought?

 

Yoongi: it’s called weed

  
  


Jimin: coolio, yet another thought that came up from a talk at 4am

 

Seokjin: I-

  
  


Yoongi: I’d honestly rather not think about this, nor do I want to talk about it really 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im not sure why Jk and V seem like such fuckin stoners


	55. STRAY KIDS - 55: question

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I’ve being watching too much Kryoz and Smii7y, I fucking said yeet in front of my mom the other day
> 
> I’m not sure if she noticed but I sure did, I was so ashamed of myself

 

 

 

 

 

Jisung: Question

  
  


Woojin:....hey tell me what you want?

  
  


Jisung: hA

 

Jisung: But no

  
  


Minho: what

 

Jeongin: ?

 

Jisung: have any of you seen those hamster videos where the owner makes these strangely elaborate foods for their pet?

 

Seungmin: I haven’t, but it sure sounds like you have

  
  


Hyunjin: Wild

  
  


Felix: ooohhhhh yeh I’ve seen those!

 

Felix: kinda weird but I’m down 

  
  


Changbin: down to what? Feed the hamster, or be the hamster?

  
  


Felix: listen I’m too young to have this talk right now, I’m not ready

 

Jisung: it’s beeN A YEAR

  
  


Felix: just bE PATIENT

  
  


Woojin: ?

 

Chan: it’s ah, it’s a vine don’t worry about it Hyung

  
  


Minho; did you mean to sound like you were speaking to your Grandpa or did that just happen?

  
  


Chan: depends.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would y’all be interested in a gang related GOT7/SK AU?


	56. STRAY KIDS - 56: password

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I do like a q and a? I’ve seen a few other writers do it, and it’d be nice to have something to distract me from the pain of Endgame.  
> Is that something you guys would be interested in?

 

 

 

 

Chan: the second our home computer gets a virus I’m changing the password and never telling a goddamn soul in this house

  
  


Felix: Chan, maybe uh. Cool it, mate?

  
  


Chan: they’re chilDREN, BABIES

 

Chan: I’d only be doing what their mothers would want

  
  


Hyunjin: to be fair you’ve never met my mother

 

Hyunjin: he  _ has  _ met my dog tho

  
  


Minho: he’s met your dog but not your mother?

  
  


Changbin: I guess it just depends which one is more important to him? Would you let someone meet the “least”, or the most important thing first

 

Seungmin: easy. Neither 

  
  


Jeongin: hes met mine.

 

Hyunjin; I can hear the exasperation and sadness 

  
  


Jisung: you poor soul, how’d it go?

  
  


Jeongin: Mother had literal heart eyes looking at Hyung, I was sure she’d adopt him.

 

Jeongin: actually he probably is, Bang-Yang Chan, or Yang-Bang Chan

 

Chan: mother Yang is a very nice woman, btw she told me to tell you to do your homework 

  
  


Changbin: didn’t know that Hyung could get any more eerie at times

 

Seungmin: he manages somehow

  
  


 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m posting this early today because I’m going to see the fucking movie in like twenty minutes, so if I post two more chapters today just so that I can scream the most unspoilerish shit, you know why
> 
>  
> 
> Hell this may even push me to finally post that MCU series I’ve had in my drafts
> 
> aHA what marvel pushes us all to do

**Author's Note:**

> Made it through that piece of shit?
> 
> Thank you all for reading that garbage, I appreciate it!  
> Remember criticism and comments are welcome! So feel free to leave a kudos or a comment if you liked it! 
> 
>  
> 
> [Iz me](https://twitter.com/Bes_Chicken)


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